Is our HOA above laws?

I live in an HOA where it's still being built. The developer still occupies 3 seats on the HOA Board. I've been asking about how much our reserve is and how it's spent. I also pointed out that there are cracks in the pool cement that needs to be addressed by builder, along with many things that need "warranty" attention by the developer. Recently I was told that I submitted too many emails and that our management company is "overwhelmed", note the management company was hired by the developer!, and I got a letter from an attorney they hire that told me I cannot phone nor email my HOA management company unless it's life and death. Apparently, there is nothing I can, but spend thousands of dollars suing them with no certainty that I can win. In addition, our Board and the HOA management company just approved a group of people in our HOA to have a party on the handicapped parking spaces of our guest parking lot! I am sick of these rule violating Board and management company that is so incompetent that they are only good at collecting our HOA fees! What do I do????