NRHH: I heard a story about a chicken?

And he like.. went off to war.. He killed other chickens which really fked with his head.. When he got back home to America to his owners house in rural Missouri he drank heavily and abused drugs because of the pain he endured during the war.. and his owner, whos name was Melvin, became ually driven toward Chicken because he likes english men (did i mention chicken originally hailed from Dorset, England) and chicken and Melvin had an intimate ual encounter in the back of Melvin's '82 Chevy.. Chicken reached his paw up to the fogged up windows and left a paw trail down the window.. Melvin & chicken wanted this to continue.. But one night, Chicken had a few too many brew's and went and slept with Christophe (Melvin's seductive French neighbor) and then Melvin, blacked out with rage and put the oven on.. Chicken knew what was coming so he scampered off, but was no match for Melvin who caught him and had a lovely roast chicken dinner the following night :)